Extract from, The day I nearly died, by Rob Mumford

Scene: Fifteen year-old boy in bed with sixteen year-old girl on a Saturday afternoon. Fifteen year-old boy is trying to make sure that Year 11 girl is not regretting deciding to lose her virginity with a Year 10 boy.

Girl: Stop.

Boy: What? Why? Are you all right?

Girl: What was that?

Boy: What?

Voice from downstairs: Jayne?

.....Jayne? Who’s up there?

Girl: Just me.

(Pause)

Voice: If you tell me his name, then I won’t come up. I’ll leave the house, and he’ll be gone when I get back.

Boy: (Whisper) You said it would be safe.

Girl: (Calling) Rob Mumford!

Boy: (Whisper) Brilliant. Well done.

Voice: He’s got five minutes to get out.

(Sound of movement downstairs. Front door opens then closes. Mr Brightwell didn’t kill me. What a guy.)